Originally posted on MySpace
07-11-2006
This is for the men out there, and it's all about control, so if you want it, listen up guys! Wal-Mart sells 12 packs of condoms for about $6. They're small, easy to carry undetected, easy to use, and are 99.9% effective in preventing pregnancy and STD's. Raising a child, if you're man enough to care for something you helped create, is a lifetime expense of time and money. Treating and dealing with an STD can be uncomfortable, expensive, and in some cases deadly. Wow! Really, is $6 that much to pay to assure you don't have to have that uncomfortable talk with your doctor about what that spot is on your d*ck? Even more so, how about not having to have that talk about being a father until you are prepared to do it? That's worth $6, isn't it?
I'm not even gonna get into the 'pulling out' topic. That's not control, it's Russian Roulette and it still won't do sh*t for preventing an STD. Nuff said.
Yeah, I'm sure condoms suck. Birth control sucks for us too. It means filling our bodies with chemicals and hormones everyday, and dealing with the side effects of those things, some of which can cause life long problems or even be deadly. Yes, deadly. Hmm, I can't remember ever hearing of a condom killing it's user. Never the less, women who actually use birth control isn't the point here though, so let's move on.
If you use condoms, you're the one in control of your protection and your life. Oh, I know, men are always in control, right? Wrong! Women are notorious for taking control, and it's easy for us to get it. How? Convince the man that he's in control, when he really isn't. Come on, you knew that already... didn't you?
Anyway, everyone's had run-ins with pychos right? Here's an all too common 'for instance'. Let's say you meet this hot chick. You take her out a time or two, and want nothing more than to bang the sh*t outta her. She, on the other hand, wants a relationship. Ugh... the 'R' word. Of course, you're in control, so you're just gonna f*ck her for awhile till you get bored with her. Then she gets the, 'It's not you it's me' line, and it's all good. I guess you've got it all figured out. Well, so does your newest psycho. She's told you she's on something right? The pill, the shot, some kind of patch, whatever. It doesn't really matter, cuz this means you don't have to use those damn condoms and you're safe to blow your load where ever you want to. Hmm... but is your 'friend with benefits' telling you the truth? What proof do you have? Did you see her pills? Maybe they were old ones or they belong to her girlfriend. Did you see anything from her doctor documenting when her most recent shot was? Better yet, is that patch birth control, or generic 'Nicoderm'? After all, they look the same. So, you figure this is a bunch of extra hassle and bullsh*t, and you're gonna be just fine. She, on the other hand, figures she's gonna get you one way or another. Yeah, maybe she's gone on about how she doesn't want any kids, so she's cool right? That's pretty hard to prove though, since you haven't figured out how to read minds yet. Still, you're in control, aren't you? Yeah, until you get that call and find out you're gonna be a father.
Hmm... does that story sound familiar at all? From a guy's point of view, maybe it doesn't, since accidents happen all the time. From a girl's point of view though, it's all too disgustingly familiar. There are more chicks out there that contemplate this than you would like to believe. I've heard it all, and I just happen to think it's f*cked up enough to let you in on the secret. So, how do you assure that you're not only the one in control, but that you aren't involved with one of these psychos? The answer costs $6 a dozen at Wal-Mart. They come in every style, shape, color, material (non-latex in case one of you has an allergy), and SIZE (even OMG huge).
Psycho or not, don't take your chances. If you say you're gonna wear a condom and she says she's on something, remind her that birth control isn't 100% and you're being cautious. If she still complains or refuses to f*ck you if you're gonna to wear one, chances are you have a real psycho on your hands. So, what's better? Giving in and getting stuck with a permanent reminder of her in the form of child support or an STD, or telling her to F off and finding someone who is all about the same thing you are right now... some great sex with less of a chance of some f*cked up sh*t goin down?
Yeah, again condoms suck, and nothing is 100% but 99.9% blows the sh*t our of having to hear 'Where's my child support check', or even worse, 'You can't cure it, but you can treat it'. Guys, you can truly be in control if you choose to be; but slack off for one minute, and someone will be there to take that control away from you... without you even realizing she has it.
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